i've been trying to write here for months but the words haven't really come. i got myself a job that gives me good hours and a different kind of art project to keep my hands busy in the winter. last week i took a train and sat in a room in a future that i imagined when i was fourteen. the roles were switched and some of the details were off, but i'm growing into the woman i always imaged would be sat in the isle in a yellow sundress.
i have a tendancy to get drunk and search for a party a little while longer than everyone else. but watching all these young women move on with their beautiful, messy lives made me realise that i needed to do that too. and i hadn't moved on for a long while, not since i combed all of that fucking glass out of my hair from two thousand and sixteen.
so i took another train down to holloway road and i auditioned for a big deal. and whatever the outcome, the process was vivid and bright and i'm starting to see my future carved out in little stars ahead of me again. i missed them.
i'll write more soon xo
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